Jin on Code

Introduction

In our day-to-day jobs, always remember that if you feel that your identity is intertwined with your work, every setback feels personal, and “good enough” is constantly moving the goalposts.

I do suggest that you continue to read this post.

That’s why, in this article, we’ll explore the practical tools— mindset, scripts, and micro-habits — to separate who you are from what you do, so that you can be resilient, confident, and effective.

Why do we Over-Identify With Work?

I’ll try to be honest here I most of my time spend most of my waking hours working, and remote tools erased the line between “me” and “my job”.

I know that every person wants to achieve something, and having ambition, responsibility, and standards can ultimately shape my identity.

I believe that other people have also experienced this in some way, and the worst part is that every time I hear good reviews or excellent feedback on job performance, I start to chase them for self-worth.

However, I felt that I had never arrived at “finally enough”.

So, I made a quick self-check work-life fusion (when work and life collide) comes in.

• Does a bad meeting ruin your day?
• You can’t describe yourself without job labels.
• Praise gives a short high; criticism sends a long spiral.
• Vacations feel aimless; hobbies feel “unproductive”.
• You say “I am failing” instead of “this approach failed”.

And honestly, most of these questions resonate with me, so I tried to rebalance by walking away from the current situation, and I did some deep meditation.

As a result, I realized that work-worth is not equal to self-worth.

The Core Mindset Shift Work Worth is not equal to Self-Worth.

Let’s try to break this down.

At work, we can gauge that skills, outcomes, and feedback fluctuate daily.

In our personal lives, values, character, spiritual life( if you have one), and relationships are non-negotiable baselines.

I realized that your performance can dip without your personality being in danger.

So, don’t be too attached to work. If you fail, consider it an experiment that didn’t yield the desired results.

Tools to Unhook – fast and practical

Here are some of the things I do to unhook myself.

Identity Pie

Don’t laugh, but you need to draw a circle and split into slices: family, friends, health, learning, community, play, work, and spirituality, but you can add or remove things here (adjust this list to fit you).

If ‘work’ is greater than 50%, pick another slice to invest in the week.

Values

List your top 5–10 values, such as growth, kindness, excellence, courage, service, etc.

For each, write a one-line behavior.

Let’s see some examples:

• Courage -> ask for clarification when requirements are vague or demo work-in-progress once per sprint.
• Kindness -> give one specific, helpful compliment per day.
• Craftsmanship -> leave code better than you found it.

Setback Debrief (5-10 minutes)

Use the 4Fs after stumbling upon a setback.

• Facts: what happened (no adjectives)?
• Findings: What did I learn?
• Fix: What will I change next time?
• Forward: Tiny next step and when.

Reset Weekly (Micro-Sabbath weekly)

We must disconnect from any inputs, or should I say we need to be offline to news, socials, email, personal, and work to do one nourishing activity like reading a book, lifting weights, play with your dogs or kids, or both, or play golf or any hobby.

Protect it like a meeting with your future self.

Summary

All I can say is that if you resonate with what I’ve written, you are a whole human being who does valuable work—you are not the work itself.

When you anchor identity in values, relationships, and a life outside the office, you actually perform better: clearer thinking, steadier emotions, smarter risks.

So, it is better to have a shift mindset of “work worth is not equal to self-worth,” and why not try to use the tools to unhook that I’ve just suggested, and if you think we need to add more to the list, just hit it in the comment section below.